By Bre, The (Expectant) Toddler Mom
As I write this post, I’m 13 weeks into my second pregnancy, and while I’m super excited about having a new little one join our family, I’m also working on a plan for making sure that my son doesn’t feel like his Mama’s abandoned him for another baby.
From this side of the fence it feels like at first it’s going to be a tough balance – making sure the new baby feels loved and secure, while making sure that my son (who will only be a little over two when his little brother joins the family) doesn’t feel like he’s been completely usurped. While I know that we’ll find the balance eventually and the “new normal” will fall into place, the Type A personality in me wants to have some kind of plan in place to make sure I do all I can in those first weeks to make both boys feel as loved as possible.
In some ways part of this plan will be easy. My older son goes to daycare 5 days a week, so his routine will be able to stay largely the same which should help him keep a sense of security. Then while he is at daycare, that will give me time to focus solely on the new baby to give us some one-on-one bonding time.
For evenings and mornings my goal is to trade off with my husband as much as possible – then I have time with our son and he has time with the new baby. As it is now we alternate evenings to read to our son for bedtime, so with some flexibility I hope that we can keep that going. My husband already does bathtime in the evenings and I stand there and help out, so maybe I’m being naïve, but I hope that I can bathe the little one while he does his normal bath routine. Hopefully, keeping everyone involved in our evenings and things as normal possible. The mornings I haven’t quite figured out yet…. Well, as I said there needs to be some flexibility, so mornings may just need to wait to see how things go once baby gets here.
At this point I’ve been a Mama long enough to know that this whole plan I’ve concocted is probably just about as likely to be what ends up happening as my getting a magical unicorn that will clean our house and make home-made dinners that everyone will eat for my birthday, but a girl can dream! At this point it makes me feel a little calmer knowing that I have some kind of plan in place, so even if it is all just a pipe-dream. I’m going to cling to it like a starving pregnant mama clings to the last snack in the house that doesn’t make her want to vomit.