By Kim, The New Mom
So I’ll start by acknowledging that yes, I am a sorority girl. I spent my college years running around campus with a group of women who grew into some of my most cherished lifelong friends. But, all that being said, it has long been my general opinion that women can often be way too judgmental, snarky, snooty and shady to one another. Growing up I had way more guy friends than girlfriends because there was just less drama and pettiness. Up until recently, I’d say that I keep a small circle of close friends who are steadfast and fiercely loyal. So it came as such a surprise to me, that once I had Nathan there was an outpouring of love and support from places that I honestly did not expect.
It was a colleague in a different department who I don’t even work with on a day-to-day basis who sent a fancy baby swing to my house. There were women who take tennis lessons from my husband who sent us literally dozens of boxes of diapers and wipes. There were friends who I don’t talk to often just out of sheer life busyness, who made it a point to drive around the beltway just to bring us dinner in the early weeks. My cousin who is always so busy was suddenly calling and FaceTiming me around the clock. I found that in some way, without even knowing it, I had found an unexpected sisterhood emerging through motherhood. I cried on the shoulders of these women when I struggled with breastfeeding, I texted them at all hours of the night about whether I should keep trying to swaddle my newborn who seemed to hate being wrapped up, I solicited tips, tricks and advice and more often than not got reminded that I was going great (words that every new mom needs to hear – often). They understood the juggling act of sleeplessness, colic, spit-ups, blowouts, worries and “what ifs” that can make the early months with a newborn so challenging.
I felt a pang of guilt for not being supportive enough of my friends who had children before me. I truly had no idea just how enormous of a life change it was, until I was knee deep in it. The version of myself who was a bit guarded and distrusting had melted away. There was no energy for trying to keep up appearances and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t even want to. I embraced my mom tribe and found such comfort in the hugs and kindness of these moms. Every time I heard, “yes, I’ve been there” or “I know, they don’t tell you about that” and “you’re doing great”, a little bit of stress lifted from my soul. I wasn’t alone in this. I had new moms and veteran moms in my corner. My small circle had become a big parachute. These women lifted me and encouraged me when I doubted myself most. I’m so grateful to be a member of this newfound sisterhood of moms, and hope that over time I can pay forward that kindness and generosity.